awww hell yeah!!!

it's mooncake time!!! wahooooo!!! i love august! :)

iDecide

THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN A DAY. i swear. so much to do and there's just never enough time. and effin energy. WAAAAH. ngayon pa na may sakit ako, saka dadami ang trabaho. grrrr. KARMA. i swear. sorry na po... sorry na sa lahat ng ginawa kong masama nung bata ako... okaaaay... sorry na.

so.... i haven't seen too may nines lately. or maybe i have... but didn't mind them. bad. bad bad. project 9 is becoming another 'another-one-of-ems'. tsss. work kasi. and back aches. haha.

SPEAKING OF BACKACHES... i visited an orthopedic surgeon the other day and saw this ad on one of their magazines.

hahahaha hysterical. isa lang masasabi ko jan... YOU GO GIRL. :) WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (ang sama ko. shet.)


ooh ooh!!! i finally have an ipod video. after... 5 years...? i finally have my own. but guess what... i didn't buy it pa rin. hahahaha. how ironic. for someone so "musical," i don't invest much in it. i don't know singers. i don't know songs. i don't own a good sound system or even a decent pair of speakers. i never owned an ipod til now. hahaha. LAOS. now THAT's what i call mediocre. hahaha. mediocre mic. that is my new name. tsss. guess my family's right about me after all. :P

my sister arrived today from the states. i super missed her. as in. ang kulit kulit ko kanina... pati ako nainis sa sarili ko.

yun lang.



ANG LABO NG ENTRY NA TO. walang kaflow-flow.

sadness this tme around

my friend's sister passed away the other day. her family was white river rafting in sagada where she accidentally fell off an elevated surface and got carried away by the current. her foot got stuck between some rocks and by the time her family was able to get her out of the rapids, she had already drowned. she was only 15 years old.

:(

you may not know her, but if you stumble upon this entry... please say a short prayer for this girl's soul and the family she tragically left behind. much is needed.


rest in peace, zulaika.

WHAT UP.

denise and mitch arrived at abby's party (just a few hours ago) with a surprise....

flowers from piolo. :D

of course he got them from the set of their shoot, but whatever. i got flowers from piolo. may kiss pa dawng kasama at isang malaking "awww... i miss her!". SANAAAAAP!!!!

beatles songs are playing in my head right now. weeeheee!

yesterday was quite the eventful day.

had lunch with a friend i hadn't seen in forever. it was quick but memorable. i realized how much i missed ramen (yuuum) and friends i can talk to like that... sigh.

soon after, i proceeded to the devil's lair for an afternoon treat of jack daniel's and african safari stories. of course he forgot my african soil pasalubong... hay nako. luckily he had an extra tiger tooth necklace to pacify me. hehe.

five hours of i-don't-know-what later, i was totally smashed. grabe. i barfed my guts out... i fell down mo's steep stairs (uh huh. after years of mastering those steps, it finally happened. pucha. ang sakit ng likod ko men)... and the best part... i cried. and we didn't even need to watch Once. what up. hahahahaaaaaaaaay. such an embarrassment to society. this depression is really bringing out the best in me and I LOVE IT. i really hope this ends soon. my liver can only take so much. booyah.


meanwhile, more 9s for peace...

today's 9

if pat has his coffee shots... and tel has her shoes and garden and pong shots... i have my 9 shots. yup. it's my new thing.

why 9?
because 9 is all about peacemakin, baby.
woohaa.

insomnia

i wrote this poem for obvious reasons.
i want to transpose it into a song. i imagine it to be upbeat and cute like an itchyworms track. heehee.


kung kelan ang mata'y
hiling ay pahinga
tila ang utak nito'y
gising na gising pa

malawak na dagat
langoy nito'y paroon
sisisid sa kalaliman
patungong kahapon

pagod ay di lamang sa mata,
katawan o isipan
sigaw ng kaluluwa
ang natatanging katahimikan

minsa'y napasya
bilangin ang mga tupa
ngunit malipas ay hinabol din
ng sipol ng umaga

kalakihang inggit
nito'y nadarama
sa bunsong katabi
na syang tulog na

ano pang magagawa
kundi sabayan ng kanta
tiyempo ng kanyang hilik
at kuliglig sa bintana

minsa'y napasya ring
kalimutan ang lahat
ngunit di ko rin matanggap
na ako'y di sapat

ang sa totoo ay ikaw lamang
wala ng iba pa
nagbigay ng katahimikan
at ninasang pahinga

pasensya nalang
kaunting pasensya na lamang.

doowap.

i have decided to make this blog more visual... like ttel's wild blog... so expect to see more graphic chenes to happen here... even if they don't make sense. hmmm.

i had this weird dream that i was still working in picture company. jill was there... eating red cheese in the studio... when winnie calls me up to tell me she'll be dropping by to view all her photos from 1999-2007. moments later, she arrives with her two COLLEGE kids (scary... they were like twin versions of shawn yao... hot and everything... as in...) and this woman who resembles this other girl i know in real life... only 20 years younger. labo.
so we go through photos and crap... when the fax machine at the back rings... and this document for my friend, mo zee, comes in. STRANGE. the 20-years-younger-version-of-this-girl-i-know-woman sees the documents and says HEY! I KNOW HIM! LET'S GO TO HIS PLACE AND DELIVER THAT! and i was all... UH... OKAY.
so my dream jump cuts to a shady gasoline station where mo zee is hanging out with a bunch of other guys, drinking. what up. we give him the documents... then jump cut to me talking to the bald boys, alan and pao, while popping pain relievers.

and then... this woman in the corner starts screaming at us... because we were blocking the diesel pump.... and then...

i wake up.... to the voice of mom screaming outside my room. AND to the UNBEARABLE pain that is endometriosis. SHET. so weird.


everything remains to be surreal. i can't even describe how disoriented i am. i'm scared. and it's not helping that i'm lying down here, crouched with a hot water bottle to my puson... feeling delirious and shit... with only two things to stare at: my ceiling fan... and this weird solar head-bobbing pink thing that mike gave me for valentines this year.


i swear to God... my life right now is one big blurry senseless dream.

surreal.

that's what it is.

i didn't know that it's possible to feel two extreme things at once. it's a bit scary.
add alcohol and that's three. hmmm. nice.

so i burnt all our photos since 2005.
yup. i have objectified our relationship and placed them in a DVD... actually two, kasi nagfail verify yung una.
it's strange how almost four years of memories can fit in a 4.7gig disc... almost unfair.

but OH MY GOD. there were so many photos. unbelievable how i can document shit.
depressing too.
:((
that's what i get for dissing all the couples i've done wedding videos for. tsss.

anyway.

i feel numb right now. a bit lost.

but i also know that somewhere deep inside, i know and feel i made the right choice. we did everything we could... well... i did everything i could... to make it last. and pwede na siguro yun.
no need to look back and sulk.
NO REGRETS.
just a generic DVD of good memories, a drum of tears (and alcohol), friends, family, and hopefully a better future with someone worthwhile to share it with.


woohoooo.